For a brief moment (for that was all I could handle) I put myself in her shoes. Now, I don't really know what she is going through, but what if I had cancer and I knew I was going to die. My heart absolutley breaks at the thought of not being able to raise my baby. I want to be here for him, with him. I'm not going to lie, my absolute biggest fear is losing my husband or baby to death. Life is meant to be lived in love with them. But the thought of me passing on is an almost unbearable thought. I'm so grateful for my family and for the new light they have brought into my life and from today on I'm going to treasure and secure that just a little more. Thank goodness for my crying baby!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Thank Goodness for My Crying Baby!
Yesterday I was SOOO tired! I was tired of no sleep, tired of my breasts being sore, tired of feeling fat, tired of staying home all day, tired of the rain, tired of my baby crying, tired of the book I was reading, tired of trying to eat healthy, tired of Miles being at work....just plain tired, to say the least. So because I was in no mood to cook dinner we went out to eat at a Mexican Restaurant around the corner. I was expecting it to be a nice get away and relaxation but with a very fussy baby it turned out to be the opposite. We were just trying to hurry and finish our meal so we could get Winston home when I saw this lady walking very fast toward our table. I thought, "Oh no, she's going to tell us that she is trying to enjoy her meal and that our crying baby was disturbing her." When she approached she was crying. She said, "I'm so sorry to bother you but I just want to let you know that I miss this sound so much! I was just sitting over there and was enjoying your baby so much. Don't you worry one bit that he is crying, just enjoy it while you can." This wonderful women was obviously going through some sort of treatment for her cancer. She stood there for a minute looking at Winn and crying when her two little boys came over. She had them look at Winn and they tried to help calm him down. Although he didn't calm down, Miles and I did. She continued to tell us that her baby was turning five and that she missed this little baby cry. She was in a hurry to leave because she didn't want to "bother" us, but the truth is that she changed my whole outlook. I try very hard to be grateful for every stage in not only my life, but especially Winn's. But today I needed that reminder. He will grow out of even his little baby cry and I will miss it. This beautiful women was heaven sent, and from today on "I will be grateful for even the fleas." (As would Cori Ten Boom say in "The Hiding Place").