Full Time Everything

If I were to write a little update on us I would say something like...being a full-time mom + being a full-time student = not enough hours in the day to clean your house or work out at the gym or fix healthy meals or do any fun fall crafts or go on "girls trip" to Washington D.C.! I tell Miles everyday that this is my last semester for sure! But then I get this knot in my stomach that tells me I NEED to graduate! Confession: I have been going to college since I WAS 16 YEARS OLD!!! You would think that would have been an advantage to graduating early right?! Why have a not graduated then? It's a long story, but to say the least I went to George Wythe (non accredited) for about 3 years, traveled a ton, and started at a university pretty late. To finish or not to finish...is the hardest question ever! BUT if you are like me, you probably skipped this whole paragraph and went straight the pictures of the cutest baby ever!

So an update on Winn: He got his first haircut because it was getting so shaggy around the ears that I kept tucking it behind them. Miles said it made him look like a girl, to which I disagreed but cut it anyway. He is certainly sooooo handsome! He has the army crawl down to a T and is just figuring out how to crawl on his hands and knees (until he figures he can get to a dangerous object faster by doing the army crawl.) He still only has two teeth, but still drools like a fat kid looking at a twinkie! He will probably grow up to be a huge flirt (just like his dad) because he will smile, giggle, and jibber jabber at every women that looks at him at the store. He is an extremely happy and social baby! However, his claim to fame is his growl! He is constantly growling and then laughing at himself. It makes for some good humor during church, or at the store, or IN HIS SLEEP, or when he is playing with his friends... I'll try to get a video of it. He won't eat fruit, only squash and green beans. His favorite toys are plugs, plastic sacks, and sucking on shoes (of course I don't let him.) And his daddy is still his best friend. I sure love having this bundle of joy in my life and couldn't imagine our lives any happier!

This is how he will put his binki in his mouth to crawl across the room. Cant leave it behind!!! Daddy teaching him young

Falling asleep to accounting...can you blame him?

Preparing for winter All clean!

SUPER-mom!!!

What does a super mom look like to you?

Clean house

Homecooked healthy meals

Takes care of herself

Faithful with prayers and scripture study

Supports her husband

Has a schedule

Crafty and creative

Drives a Honda CRV

Plays the piano

Serves all around her

Puts her family first

Practices new hobbies

Wears an apron...yada yada yada

"If only" right? Well today I am grateful for my mom, who in my eyes IS super-mom. She came down to visit here last week and it was HEAVEN!!! While she was here we had a lot of time to talk and go on walks which is basically my favorite thing to do on Summer evenings. We made some super delicious new meals...LIKE...Toasted Ravioli with homemade marinara sauce, BOMB meatloaf (I don't really like meatloaf...but this was amazing), and homemade pop-tarts. It was a very scrumptious week! My mom is also the best grandma to all of her grandchildren. She watched Winn while I went and got some studying done which was SOOOO helpful! I'm a good student when my mom's around, and definitely not a good student when she's gone. My mom LOVES learning, she loves the outdoor, she loves trying new things and staying busy. She is NOT lazy, she is NOT unhappy, and worst of all...she does NOT live close by me. She was suppose to be living exactly 15 minuets away but because of her amazing-ness she is living with my sister in Washington who just lost her husband, and his helping her with her life and kids. Those kids love her and I think she is so wonderful for them in every way. She has dealt with so much the past couple of months and her life has taken a complete 180* turn and has kept a smile on her face and immovable faith in her life. Having said all of that, having her in my life makes this little guy means so much more to me. I never knew I could be so in love! I want him to have what I have, security, love, growth, kindness, confidence, truth...etc, etc, etc... I want to be a good MOM, and this week I feel like I missed the mark. Now I know every mom is not perfect, and it's easy to look at others and say, "I wish I was like that," or "I'm not as good as her." But what are the qualities you feel are most important or at least very important when it comes to being a mom? What makes you a good mom? What's on your list of "super-mom" traits? Really...I want to know!

A Train of thoughts....chooo chooo

So I was reading a friends blog the other day and she always makes a point of mentioning when she has accomplished something hard. Very inspiring. It got me thinking and coveting her idea. I really like the thought of having a theme or purpose to my blog rather than just a travel log or a journal entry. So I started thinking about stealing her idea and writing about hard things I've accomplished. I immediately got a lump in my throat thinking about how hard this summer was with the death of my brother-in-law. I was then taken back to the first couple days of the nightmare and remembered the pain and confusion and headaches and questions. Those were HARD days! I didn't know if it could really be counted as "accomplishing" something hard because it was VERY unwelcomed. Then it got me thinking...welcomed hard times vs. unwelcomed hard times and what is the difference...is there one? Anyway, this thought trailed to what I have gained from accomplishing all sorts of hard experiences or tasks in my life. Things from death to birth (giving birth is definitely one of the hardest thing I've ever done!), hiking tall mountains, taking hard classes, reaching out of my comfort zone, apologizing, forgiving, replacing fear with faith, and so on and so on. Life provides so many opportunities to grow and for that I am grateful. That's when it hit. From now on I will write about things that I am grateful for! I truly believe that when one expresses a sincere heartfelt "thanks" that the world is changed a little bit for the better. I can't really think of anything that would please the Lord more then if we were all to be a little more grateful in our lives for not only the good times but the hard ones too.

So I'm going to start us out with the cliche! I could not be more grateful for my family! My husband is so amazing! I don't know where I'd be without him. My baby Winn is perfect! He has been the joy of our lives! Also, my siblings and parents are some of the most influential people in my life. I'm so happy that I get to be with them for eternity. And last but not least, my in-laws rock! They are such a wonderful added blessing in our lives and I'm thrilled to call them my family.

Guten Tag

Yesterday the sun was shining and Miles got of work early so we headed to LEAVENWORTH! Have you ever been there? If not, you must put it on your bucket list. It's a cute little Bavarian town in the mountains that is almost identical to a little Dutch Village in the Alps. There are huge beautiful mountains, quaint shops, and yodeling in the background. Too bad little Winn hates being out in the sun (I guess that is what raising him in Seattle has done to him) but Miles and I sure had a blast! He looked a little hungry so we let him taste our sandwich So when I was younger and my ward would come to Leavenworth the "tradition" was to go to the "Hat Shop" and take a picture with all the funny hats, so Miles and I decided to continue that tradition. We also got these cute little blocks at the "Wood Store". It will be fun to paint them! When Miles and I were 14 and in the same ward, the young men went to Leavenworth for a camp out and Miles brought me back a wooden flower and wrote a poem with it. I thought it was cute but what I didn't quite grasp was that he was trying to tell me that he "liked" me. I unfortunately didn't keep it, so he got me another one yesterday and made it very clear that he "liked" me...a lot! :)

LITTLE Memories making a BIG influence

Mark is gone, physically. I have to keep reminding myself because at times it still doesn't seem real. This past week I've been so busy trying to block out the pain and stay strong for my family that I haven't really had time to ponder my relationship with Mark and my own personal feelings of his passing.

Mark and Brooke were married when I was 11 years old. He has been in our family for more than half of my life and is considered a brother to me. When Mark was on his mission, I remember Brooke getting kind of serious with another guy. One night I started crying and told her that I didn't want her to marry him. When she asked why all I could say was, "because he's not Mark." Some of my fondest memories come from when Brooke and Mark would invite me to come stay at their house for a weekend. Mark would always go above and beyond to make it special. I grew up wanting to marry someone like him. I loved how he was so passionate about life and about my sister. They were always so fun to be around because they were best friends and being around them made you want to have what they had. They were always laughing and joking and singing and being silly and wrestling and tickling and talking. Their friendship was contagious. I LOVED how he treated my sister! I don't know if he was pretending or not but he was good at making me feel like he was genuinely interested in my life. He would always ask me about boys or my harp or the sports I was involved in. In fact, well before I was of legal age, he let me drive his car around as he taught me how to drive. I remember one time crying on the couch because my braces on my teeth were hurting so bad, he picked me up and shoved me in his car and we went and got shaved ice to try to help. There were many jamming sessions in the car, mainly to guns n roses but I do remember at times we would belt out to country songs, Les Mis, Wicked, and John Denver. I never dated a boy that Mark didn't approve of. One time I was in a relationship that I was really excited about. When Mark met him he instantly told me he didn't like him, not for any particular reason but just because he didn't give off a good vibe. Not 5 minutes later the relationship was over. When I got to college Mark was always setting me up on dates with guys he though I would like. When my high school boyfriend returned from his mission Mark paid for Brooke and I to stay in Seattle to see if it would work out, against my will. When I left boyfriend-less Mark, Brooke and I had a good time venting that night about how stupid boys are and weren't worth my time. Luckily, Mark approved of and loved Miles. Mark is a man of integrity and depth. I've had sooo many deep conversations with Mark that still impact my everyday decisions. One time I asked him if he ever felt like lying would be the right thing to do. He quickly and bluntly responded with a "no." I made up a couple of different scenarios like, "but what if, by you lying, you would save another persons life?" He continued to say that because of his profession (an attorney) he has prayed about this question a lot. He has come to conclusion that he would never give up his integrity to lie, and that somehow he would always find another way. That conversation meant a lot to me and he is the only one to have given me such a powerful answer. One of my favorite quotes from Mark, says a lot about him. We were driving somewhere when someone cut him off and with complete frustration in his voice he said, "Ugh, the more I study about charity, the stupider people get!"

On June 30, 2011 Mark unexpectedly passed away in his sleep from a brain aneurysm. When I first heard the news my first thought was, "no, no, no, not Mark. Of anyone I know he is the most needed person." He was serving as 1 counselor in the Bishopric, and helping so many through his profession, and not to mention his wife and 5 young kids. The hardest part through all of this has been thinking of my sister Brooke. I can't even pretend I know what she is going through, but I do know that I have been in love and I have started a life with my sweetheart. Losing him would be paralyzing. She, however, has been absolutely incredible during this whole devastation. While there are still times that she wants to just sleep and cry and not be bothered she has remained strong and immovable for her kids and others around her. She continually talks about Mark and their treasurable memories. Last night she even took over as the "family horse" so that all the kids could still have their horsey rides before bed. I know Mark is so proud of Brooke and her strength through all of this. My testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ is being strengthened everyday. I believe that families can be together forever, through His plan. I know Brooke and their kids will see him again. I know he is on the other side of the veil watching over each of us. I will personally do what it takes to live my life righteously and to the fullest so that I too can have the promises of the Gospel.

This picture was taken about 3 weeks ago when we went to Brooke and Mark's house for the weekend. These are the new babies with their daddies. Eli is definitely a daddy's boy! Their beautiful family (minus Eli) at my wedding This picture makes me look like a baby, but this is Mark helping out on a memorable hike my family took in Zions one year.